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Since the recent high increase of new players there seems to be A LOT of noobs running around. So I'm putting this little guide together to help you along through the wall of n00bage when there isn't an admin on.

1. Try to help them Yes that's right help. PM them. Wave your arms around. Spam a little and help them understand what the game mode is about and what not. If they start with the "OMG STFU NOOB LOSER FAG!!!!!111" then just leave them alone, don't start shit.

2. Buddy up That's right. DM'ing noobs are much less likely to attack a group of people (not saying they won't. They're still noobs). Cops, get together in a cop car, enforcer, whatever. Not only does it make it 10x easier to take down suspects it will also allow you to take down/arrest noobs that decide to attack you. On the civilian side, find a friend or something to hang around with and ride together. Make a rape bus or something.

3. Keeping moving. For some reason when you stop moving or park it places a big "DM me now" target on you. I don't know why it just does. So keep on the move and it should keep the noobage off your back.

4. Don't start shit Simple. If some noob is spamming "your mom" jokes and throwing around every dirty word he can think of just /ignore him. Don't start shit. It just leads to more shit and that doesn't help the situation. You just degrade yourself to their level.

5. Use the script to your advantage Yep if you're reading this, chances are that you know how to play. So use the script to your advantage. Oh! Some noob deciding he's Rambo? Place and hit and have one of many talented hitmen take him out. A noob decides he doesn't like the way you looked at him? /flash, rape, insult, whatever kill him. Give him a STD. Do whatever. You don't have to shoot him to death to kill him. If he's firing wildly he will eventually get a warrant and a cop can arrest him.

6. *Cops* Have someone on heli duty! I can't stress this enough. Noobs seem to like to snipe. A LOT. So keep a heli cop on patrol to take care of them. If they accidentally run into your heli blades. Oh well! ;)

7. Just avoid them. If you know someone is being a DM'ing noob asshole then just avoid them. Also keep away from the PD or other high traffic areas. Do your deals in some secluded place like you should do. If you need to go to the PD make it quick. Noobs seem to like to hang around there too.


That's about it. I'll keep this open to suggestion and comments and edit it if I feel something needs to be added.

ATeddyBear

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